Pregnancy Epiphanies

At some points during pregnancy, time feels like it is just dragging on, like every annoying and uncomfortable symptom will never end, like time is standing still, she will never arrive.  Other times, I feel like time won't stop, like we're on a speed train, like we'll never get anything finished before she gets here and we're totally unprepared to introduce her to this big, scary world.

And then there's the in between times. The times when life just goes on, where the day-to-day happens and being pregnant is just another part of life.  Work, cleaning, sleep, dishes, laundry, bills, all of the responsibilities of life.

Between the slow times, the quick times, and the day-to-day, she's still in there growing by the second.  And every couple of days, there is a moment where I look down at her and time. stands. still.

It's in these moments of realization when life just sort of pauses.  Every worry, every concern, every stress of life is muted, and every ounce of concentration is placed on the little human that is growing inside of me. And the gravity of what I am experiencing hits me: the fact that I am carrying a child that will be a part of my life indefinitely. These little moments where it just sinks in for a second. A vivid image of holding her in my arms consoling her as she cries, where I can almost make out what she may look like.

That little nudge I just saw make its way across my belly will soon be a newborn rocking in my husband's arms, a baby covered head-to-toe in baby food, an infant taking her first wobbly steps, a toddler tugging on our pups' ears, a child on her first day of kindergarten. The thoughts halt there because it's almost too much to take in. It doesn't seem real. And it will be here before we know it.

It is pure gratitude. Pure contentment. Pure serenity. 

All accompanied by the magnitude of being able to provide for and raise another human being.  Someone has given me the grandest gift this life has to give.

It's these moments that assure me that the hardships of these 9 months will all be worth it. I can only hope that I will be to her what she already is to me.

And then the dryer buzzes, my eyes shift from her, and life goes on.  Every movement, every kick in between, a gentle reminder of these miraculous pregnancy epiphanies. Each one just another step closer to her arrival.

I can't wait to meet you, Lil Princess.