I was already thinking I was way behind the last few weeks on blogging. The holidays tend to do that, and I haven't done one single Christmas craft this year. :-(
McKenna woke up on Christmas morning seemingly a little congested. We just figured, ehh a case of the sniffles. We'd been traveling and it's winter season so they were bound to happen. She's such a well-tempered baby that we didn't think much of it.
Flash forward to the day after Christmas, Friday. She woke up even more congested. We gave family fair warning and headed to my parents' house to open up gifts. That afternoon she didn't seem quite right, and she fell asleep on my chest. During this relatively long nap session her legs began to feel uncomfortably warm and I could feel heat radiating off of her. I also noticed a rattle, what felt like congestion in her chest as she breathed and snored.
She woke up in what I will describe as delirium. Face flushed. Burning up. All signs pointing to a fever (in addition to her face being a faucet). What concerned me most was her mannerisms. Her eyes were half-mast, rolling back (as if she was asleep), she was groaning, and she essentially felt limp. I had to support her head as I held her. She was just kinda floppy. She was most certainly awake but didn't feel present. We had been using an ear thermometer up until now; but that thing was reading nothing in temperature compared to how hot I felt her temp should be. So I braved the most tried and true method of taking temp. And I just watched that thing tick, tick, tick upward to 102.5 before she kicked me away. 4pm the day after Christmas. Doc's closed. I called Kevin and told him I wanted to go to the ER (a close friend confirmed my concern when I told her what we were experiencing). We waited for daddy to hurry home and rushed up the street to the hospital.
One of my biggest fears in life. Germs. I would do anything to avoid the ER, but we committed to going. Something in me said my baby was not right. While fevers are common and are an indicator that your body is fighting something, they can be dangerous if you ignore their red flags. The day after Christmas, as you can imagine, the wait was overflowing into the parking lot.
From the moment we got in the car to three hours [of mostly waiting] later when we got her RSV diagnosis, I was my biggest enemy. It felt like one huge 3 hour panic attack. I second guessed my decision for us to bring her. They gave her Tylenol as soon as we were admitted to bring down her fever, and she was beginning to act like herself as we continued to wait. What if she was "just teething"? What if it was nothing? Did I put the three of us through hell (and potentially in contact with something worse) to have them give her Tylenol and send us home? Technically that's all they did (after some lab work and a chest xray) but learning she had what could be a potentially deadly virus was alarming and nerve wracking to say the least.
As a virus there's nothing they can give her to make her better, just let it run its course. We have to monitor her closely the next couple of days to make sure it doesn't get worse and follow up with our ped.
Once we were discharged, we loaded up in the car and I just broke. The range of emotions I felt during the last 4-5 hours was immense. Kevin held my hand as I held hers as we drove home. I was tired, scared, anxious, and sick myself. I also felt validated. The weight of my decision to take her to the ER was huge, and I feel as if my mommy intuition had been confirmed. I often worry that I'll make decisions based on anxiety as opposed to reality. As someone who struggles with anxiety, there are more times than not something doesn't "feel right", even things that are totally fine. Through a difficult day, that feeling of validation has helped build my confidence to make sound decisions based on a gift that nature gave me to know my child best.
It's been a long couple of days, and an even longer couple of nights. It seems as if the mucous in her chest is loosening up now, and I hope we'll have our healthy baby back soon.
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