The more we used the shield, the more I hated it. But we had little progresses here and there where she would latch sans shield. It was tough to remember that each time she did it was a step in the right direction, but I still found myself focusing on that highly anticipated subsequent feeding when she'd only accept the shield. We were in a 2 steps forward, 1 step back cycle. But that was still forward progress.
It was during this time I really turned up the bonding and skin-to-skin contact. There were whole days I didn't put on a top!! Research shows skin-to-skin can play a critical role in bonding and successful breastfeeding. I can say that over time she has gotten more relaxed and comfortable in my arms.
I was waiting for it all to one day just click. It felt like it never would. Even when it finally did it didn't feel like it was a click. But looking back it really did. Specifically one middle-of-the-night feeding she was particularly fussy. I didn't experiment too much during the night in an effort to avoid breakdowns, so the last thing I thought would work to soothe her would be to take the shield off. All of the previous successful attempts were after much persuasion. Well she pretty much spit the shield out and latched on the first try.
After this, she accepted every feeding from my left breast sans shield (not without some refusal, encouragement, and patience at times). My right is another story. For fear of keeping the shield on her mind as an option, I simply stopped offering it with the shield even if it means she refuses that breast. When she refuses it (which is still often), I switch her over to my left and pump my right. We're seeing the same type of slow progress we were seeing when trying to remove the shield. Little by little she's accepting it more and more. I think it has a lot to do with positioning (I feel awkward holding her in my right arm vs my left), and also having an oversupply of milk (which makes it difficult for her to eat comfortably).
I think the most important thing about this whole process is knowing when to stop pushing and give her what she wants. We've fought through some crying sessions and successfully had her latch, but one second too long at encouraging her and it would do more harm than good. The last thing I wanted was to have her anticipating breastfeeding as a negative experience where she cried every time she was encouraged to eat. That would create the potential for her to go on a complete nursing strike. Both with the shield and what we are currently doing to get her used to my right boob, there's a moment you learn to recognize to just give in. Nothing good could come from forcing her to do anything, allowing her the opportunity to test the waters herself and experiment is what I believe has made this successful.
It is still a day-by-day struggle, but McKenna and I are beginning to learn WITH one another and read each other's nonverbal signals. It is very apparent she reacts according to my mood as I do of hers. I can say even with still working to get a routine and get her to freely accept my right breast, breastfeeding has become a rewarding experience already. Now she looks like this after feedings:
I know it will still take some time, and we may even see some setbacks since reaching these milestones is still so recent, but we know we can do it.
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